A Danger to Herself and Others by Alyssa Sheinmel

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I had grabbed this one from the BN Book Haul Sale not really knowing what it was about other than the fact that it addressed mental health. A Danger to Herself and Others by Alyssa Sheinmel is a YA contemporary that follows Hannah after her friend Agnes had a terrible accident. Obvious trigger warnings are needed for mental illness, including psychosis, depression, and eating disorders.

When Hannah's roommate Agnes falls from their second story window and suffers severe injuries, Hannah finds herself in a mental institution. She sees on her file that she is "a danger to herself and others," but how can she be? Agnes was her best friend. She would never do anything to hurt her. This must all be a big misunderstanding. But as days pass Hannah realizes she might be in there much longer than she anticipates. That's when Hannah gets a roommate, Lucy. And Lucy might be just the person to help her through this ordeal.

There was a pretty good twist in this, and it was a very fast read. Parts of this were incredibly intense and I was really invested in what was going to happen. I don't think Hannah was a likable character, but I don't think she was supposed to be. I also heavily disliked her parents, especially towards the end, but again they were clearly supposed to be disliked.

While I've never been in a mental institution, I don't think the one in the book was very representative of real life. The way that Hannah was isolated, was never able to get clean until she was granted privileges to do so, had to do her business in a bed pan because they hardly ever let her out to use the restroom, and was only given fresh clothes every few days screamed patient neglect. There is an authors note in the back that said the author took liberties with some of these things, but I think it's important to portray all aspects of mental health accurately, so I wasn't a fan of this.

I was also not a big fan of the ending. If it had ended a little sooner in the story, it would have been fine and I would have been satisfied. If it had gone on a little longer, it would have been fine. But where it did stop felt jarring and unfinished, like the author didn't want to let go but didn't have anything else of substance to write.

I liked this book enough, but it definitely wasn't as good as it could have been, and taking liberties with something as serious as mental health really rubbed me the wrong way.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars

Born Scared by Kevin Brooks

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Take a peek into the mind of a child who is terrified of everything. In Born Scared by Kevin Brooks, we follow thirteen-year-old Elliot, as he must conquer some of his fears in this book focusing highly on the daily life of someone with anxiety and crippling phobias.

As Christmas approaches, Elliot realizes that he is almost out of his fear pills. After a mix up at the pharmacy, Elliot panics that he might not get them in time, and if he runs out, the fear "beast" will emerge. A plan is developed to get him his pills in time, but suddenly that plan starts falling apart. First, his aunt Shirley who was supposed to bring him his pills never shows, and isn't answering her phone. Fearing the worst, Elliot's mother goes out searching for her in the snowstorm, but when she doesn't return from what should be a short walk, Elliot has to take matters into his own hands.

This book was interesting, because it's hard to imagine being scared of literally everything. I personally struggle with anxiety, so I know what it's like to have irrational fears, but virtually everything Elliot encounters terrifies him. Some of the scenes got pretty intense, and while I was tempted to tell Elliot to just snap out of it, this book is all about understanding that for him, this IS reality and he can't just snap out of it.

This was described as a "terrifying thriller," but the only terrified one after reading this was Elliot. It seemed like more of a journey-based story than a thriller most of the time. I know we were meant to feel Elliot's fear, but I just didn't and never really connected with the story. This was told from multiple points of view, and while I understood why that was necessary, I didn't really like it.

Overall I enjoyed this story, but didn't love it and probably wouldn't read it again. It was a quick read, and something that would be great to pick up during the upcoming holiday season.

Overall Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars

Thanks so much to Candlewick Press for an advanced copy of this read! Born Scared by Kevin Brooks is out now!

In Sight of Stars by Gae Polisner

Cover Art Courtesy of St. Martin's Press

I don't cry at books, I just don't. I get sad and do feel emotion for whatever is happening, but I don't ever shed physical tears. BUT HOLY WATERWORKS. This book got me. In Sight of Stars by Gae Polisner melted my icy heart and sent tears streaming down my cheeks in droves. This story follows Klee (pronounced Clay), a teen struggling with his father's suicide, who in a moment of weakness hurts himself and ends up in a mental hospital (more fondly known as the Ape Can). It's then that he's forced to reconcile everything that's happened...with his dead father, with his mother, and most importantly with himself.

This book is 100% character driven, which is good because the characters were fantastic. Sister Agnes Theresa was such a joy! While at first she was a completely random character with her board games and snack delivery, she ended up being one of the biggest supporters of Klee.  I also absolutely adored Dr. Alvarez. I thought she was supportive and nurturing in all the right ways, letting Klee take his time with things and pushing just enough to let progress blossom on its own. Between what Klee did for her at the end and what she revealed about herself to him, I just couldn't hold myself together. I really didn't like Sarah, but I don't think I was meant to. She's the typical manic pixie dream girl who takes what she wants without giving anything back, and even at the end she just left a bad taste in my mouth. Klee's mother was a difficult character to crack, but the more the story developed, the more you start to understand why the "Ice Queen" is the way she is.

And Klee himself, I have so much to say about Klee (but I can't without spoiling too much). From his love of Van Gogh to his fierce loyalty to his father, Klee is emotionally complex and raw. I loved seeing him open up to everyone in the Ape Can, and you could tell that no matter how much he was struggling, he really wanted to understand what was happening and get better.

I loved all the stories and flashbacks with Klee and his father, and the tales he told Klee to teach him about life. The whole thing was beautifully written and like I said before, it takes a lot to touch me enough to make me cry, and this story succeeded. Trigger warnings for suicide and self harm are definitely needed, but the subject was touched on in a sensitive and tender way. This book was deep and emotional, and one that will definitely stick with me for a while.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

A huge thanks to St. Martin's Press for sending me an early finished copy of this beauty. In Sight of Stars by Gae Polisner is out TODAY so be sure to pick up a copy of this beautiful emotional roller coaster.

The Secrets We Bury by Stacie Ramey

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I've read a few books lately that had hiking at the center of the plot, but it wasn't until this one that I actually got inspired to research a hike of my own. The Secrets We Bury by Stacie Ramey follows Dylan, seventeen-year-old who has run away from home and decided to hike the Appalachian Trail. Dylan believes that his mental issues are what caused his father's death, and afraid of having to attend a school for special kids decides to flee and pursue this journey to process his grief. 

Along his journey, he meets a girl his age, Sophie, who seems to be running away from her own problems just like he is. They also meet Rain Man, a seasoned hiker who, like both Dylan and Sophie, has experienced a devastating loss. Throughout the story, Dylan learns to connect, and even care for, others, while getting out of his own head and facing his fears for the safety and well-being of his new companions.

I really enjoyed this story. I read it in a few short hours, and thought the plot was solid. You could also tell that Ramey did a good amount of hiking research. I really enjoyed both Dylan and Sophie as characters, and respect both of them for the journeys they took and what they learned along the way. I would have loved to have seen this story told from both Dylan's and Sophie's point of view. I really appreciated seeing the relationship between Dylan and Sophie develop without any of the typical tropes that many YA novels have: yes Dylan saved her but that's not why she liked him, and they bonded on a level much deeper than physical attraction and desperation.

My only real issue with this book was the ending. I feel like everyone was so nonchalant about Dylan saving the lives of two people and coming home, and that things would never actually play out this way in the real world.

Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars

Thanks to Sourcebooks Fire for access to a digital arc of this book! The Secrets We Bury by Stacie Ramey releases March 1st so be sure to pick up a copy!

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

Cover Art Courtesy of St. Martin's Press

I've been reading so many good books lately, and this was no exception! Kristin Hannah is a very well known and phenomenal author so I jumped at the chance to read her newest release, The Great Alone. I do want to put in a trigger warning for PTSD and spousal abuse, because those topics are very prevalent in this story. It follows thirteen year old Leni Allbright and her parents, Cora and Ernt. When Ernt returns from being held captive in Vietnam, he has severe PTSD, often being unable to hold a job (or his temper), and he gets stir crazy very easily. The family soon finds out that one of Ernt's war buddies has left them his home and land...in Alaska. So off they go to start a new life for what Leni hopes is the last time. 

They soon come to realize that they are ill-prepared for the life that awaits them: danger around every corner, no power, and the threat of freezing or starvation being very real. But the Allbrights are survivors, so they do their best to adapt with the help of their new neighbors. As winter starts to set in; however, Ernt's temper gets worse, and he starts getting explosively angry and hurting Cora. Leni and her mom must figure out how to survive, not only the Alaskan winter, but also the danger now lurking in their own home.

This book was outright fantastic. Even though this was a longer read (the physical ARC was over 400 pages), I flew through it in less than 24 hours. The story was engaging, moving, and a little emotionally stressing. I loved Leni's character, especially how she loved books and used reading as a coping mechanism for what was going on around her. Seeing her grow up and fall in love, despite all the challenges she faced was an inspiration. The topics of spousal abuse and PTSD are difficult ones to swallow, but the more we acknowledge that these are real issues that need addressed, the better things will become. I'm glad that Leni was able to acknowledge these issues even as an adolescent and understand that what was happening was not okay.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah releases on February 6, 2018!

Overall Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

Thanks so much for St. Martin's Press for sending me this ARC! This was a very highly anticipated release for me so I'm excited to have had the opportunity to read it early. 

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Cover Art Courtesy of Goodreads

I've heard so much praise for Marieke Nijkamp and her book This Is Where It Ends, although I haven't read it. I might in the future, but as a Virginia Tech graduate, stories of school shootings just sit wrongly with me. Before I Let Go however, was my opportunity to discover what this author was all about, through a safer (to me) story line. This story does chronicle depression and suicide, so I wanted to note this in case this is not a safe story line for some.

Before I Let Go follows Corey, a former Alaska native who has moved to Canada for school. As she prepares to return to her former home to visit her best friend Kyra, she receives the startling news that Kyra has committed suicide. Heartbroken and confused, Corey decides to keep her plans intact, returning to Lost Creek to try to get answers about Kyra's mysterious death and attend her memorial. But upon arriving, Corey discovers that things are not quite right. She doesn't know her town anymore, or the people in it. And worst of all, she doesn't understand why they suddenly idolized Kyra, a previous outcast due to her mental illness and outbursts. 

When Corey starts asking questions, the townspeople turn on her, claiming that she doesn't understand and that she abandoned Kyra in her time of need. As Corey pieces together what happened, she comes to realize that Kyra became a tool for the townspeople as they forced her to prophesize the future through her depressive painting episodes. Kyra fell more and more into herself as they exploited her illness, ultimately giving in to her depression and trying to escape, but the people of Lost Creek would not let her. Corey tries to bring the truth to light, but the townspeople make an attempt on her life and try to chase her away. All that Corey has left of Kyra are some possessions she left hidden for Corey to find. 

This book was a mental rollercoaster, that's for sure. Told through letters, first person POV, and even script format, the emotion is raw and real. The plot itself was  a little empty, but I think that was the point. It wanted to hone in on feelings versus actions.  I will say the different formats of writing were confusing and difficult to piece together. I think it was also a little too drawn out, this took me a lot longer to read than I was expecting, and although that is common for heavy books, it was not THAT heavy that I needed over 10 days to read it.

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

Thanks to SOURCEBOOKS Fire for access to an advanced digital copy of this book! Before I Let Go releases on January 2nd, 2018!

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

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Let me start this review by saying that I've never really been sure where I stand on John Green. I only read two of his books prior to reading this one, one of which I loved and one I hated. Looking for Alaska was fantastic, with interesting characters and a plot that drew you in, while The Fault in Our Stars was dull and sad, with unlikable characters and a pretty predictable ending. Because I was 50/50 on this author, and everyone seems to rave about him, I decided to give his newest book a try. Turtles All the Way Down follows Aza, a sixteen-year-old with anxiety and mental problems, who gets wrapped up in a disappearance and a love story all at once.

When the millionaire father of her old friend Davis goes missing, Aza and her best friend Daisy decide to investigate, more for the reward than for anything else. Little did Aza know, she would not only get the reward money, but gain a pseudo-boyfriend in the process. Unfortunately for Aza, she has a mental disorder that leaves her obsessed with germs, perpetually afraid of contracting a disease. This proves to be a burden on Davis, and Daisy, and relationships become strained as Aza reaches a breaking point where she has to determine whether or not she will spend her life letting her anxiety control her.

This story also includes an overprotective mother, a car named Harold, and a tuatara that will inherit millions, which is a lizard-like creature I didn't even know existed until I read this book.

Unfortunately, this story didn't sway me on John Green one way or the other. This book was just average to me, not great but not terrible. The plot left something to be desired and I was unsatisfied with the ending, although I loved the complexity of Aza's character. At some point I guess I'll have to tackle another book by John Green and see where that takes me. If you have any recommendations let me know!

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars

We All Fall Down by Natalie D. Richards

Cover art courtesy of Goodreads

*lets out a sigh* So this book. It's taken me a while to really think about what to say about this book, because I don't know if I liked it or not. And I'm not sure I fully understood everything that was happening either. Is that good? Is that bad? No idea. But I'll try my best to give you my spoiler-free review anyway.

We All Fall Down by Natalie D. Richards is a YA novel that follows Theo and Paige, two teenagers seemingly bound together by a lifelong friendship, a terrible accident, and a bridge. When you pick up this book, at first glance it may seem like horror, but it was so much more than that, and it was scary for unexpected reasons. That's because Theo and Paige both have mental disorders. Theo has ODD and ADHD and Paige is crippled by anxiety. Throughout the story these conditions dramatically impact the course of the plot as Theo and Paige get wrapped up in their illnesses, each other, and what is happening to them.

After a traumatic accident at a local bridge, Paige and Theo spend the summer apart, with Paige in a summer science program and Theo working construction with his uncle. Mysteriously, the two are drawn back to one another as flashbacks from that fateful night begin to haunt them. Voices,  strange items, and danger become more prevalent the nearer they are to the bridge (where Theo has a construction project and Paige is testing water samples). These paranormal happenings draw the couple together again while simultaneously tearing them apart, culminating in an event that will end it all for good.

I enjoyed how this book was split into the point of view of both Paige and Theo, and it was a quick read that kept me on-edge the entire time. The ending was a little anticlimactic, so I was disappointed by that. And I'm still not completely sure which parts were actually paranormal vs which parts were mental health related. In addition, I had some unanswered questions about two of the minor characters, Melanie and Gabriel. I think I may need to reread this one to really put my finger on how I feel about it overall.

I will add that I LOVED this book as an advocate for the importance of mental health and caring for yourself. Seeing the characters (Paige especially) struggle with their conditions helps the reader understand what life is like for someone with a mental illness. As a diagnosed sufferer of anxiety myself (although not nearly as crippling as Paige), it was nice to see the truth represented of how anxiety can make anything seem like the truth, no matter how far-fetched or unrealistic it may seem to an outsider.

We All Fall Down by Natalie D. Richards hits shelves on October 3, 2017!

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Thanks to Sourcebooks Fire for an advance copy of this book to review!